Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Open Letter To The Big Man

Yo, BMOC (big man of catholicism)
I don't know who pissed you off recently, but now you're just being a dick. Fine...take it out on all of humanity, but don't single out twenty-somethings from Tennessee. That's just not cool. The chainsaw is a little much, don't you think?
Being just like 95% of other confirmed roman catholics, I haven't been to church since, well, getting confirmed, but I'm pretty sure it's "Honor thy mother and father" not "Murder thy mother and father....and then cut up one of their bodies". I'm just throwin that out there....if you don't like, just throw it right back.
You couldn't have picked a better time either. His parents had just bitched him out--can i swear here? I can now say 'i swear to god' and mean it....but i digress--after returning from Haiti drilling wells. I realize that's code for "drug mule", but you didn't need to make it seem like there was an actual motive. He got life in prison without parole, I hope you're happy...but i guess being omniscient, you already knew that.
That whole "insanity" defense was pretty weak as well. You try telling a jury of his peers from Chatanooga, Tennessee that the kid was insane because god told him to do something and he did it and see how far that gets you. You might have well have just smote him where he stood.
In closing, stop being a dick. You've got the majority of America's support anyway, so don't squander your religious capital. (Hahaha, get it? I'm so witty....).


PS: You should also read up in your engineering textbooks because you sure are making some dumb mistakes. I guess you shouldn't have gotten your associate's at Tacoma Community College.


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