Friday, February 10, 2006

I hate the Aztecs

I just got re-angry over my Civ4 game after talking to one of my labmates. (Yes, we're tools.)

I'm America ('Merca in Bushese) and was doing mediocrely out of a field of 11. Two continents...the one i'm on is (north to south) me, aztec, persia (my best friend), arabia, with spain to the east of arabia. The other continent has (east to west) france and rome, mali (my other best friend), etc. Since i'm not doing so hot and India is scientifically kicking my ace, i decided that i'd go for the UN, especially having two best friends and a few other 'pleased' friends. Persia comes to me and says, "Let's kick Louis XIV's ass. You in?" I said, "sure", because i want to stay good friends and France is on the other side of the world, so i couldn't care less about being at war with them. (They already hated me anyways.)

I start driving a sub around exploring the other continent when i happen upon a wooden French ship that i trash. Many turns later, Spain decides to declare war on me. They're not that advanced (no gunpowder), but come after me anyway even though i have Navy SEALS, infantry, tanks. She just has a shitton of catapults, so she ended up killing a few of my units through collateral damage, but i housed the dozens of units she brought in. I had battleships, she had frigates.

Mid-Spanish-American-War, the Aztecs, who have declared war on me twice previously and have mercifully asked for peace because i took a city each time, decided to declare war again. They, as opposed to Spain, have gunpowder, but i wasn't too worried because i've killed them before and i have tons of $$ and upgraded units. Now i'm at war with France, Spain, and the Aztecs. France, out of nowhere, sends over a battleship. (Where the f did that come from?) Spain and Aztecland (where do Aztecs live? I don't mean Mexico...) gang up and start going after one of the cities i previously stole from them. I had to swap to Universal Suffrage mid-war (anarchy, argh), hurry the UN, bring my science down to 0%, and then start hurrying tanks and other units. I'm blowing through money like Robert Downey, Jr. in a Bolivian coca field.

Through the attrition of collateral damage, that city gets razed. Awesome. I ask Persia for a favor--fuck up the Aztecs--and they agree. It doesn't seem like they're doing a whole lot though...awesome, again.

Spaztec is now going after the other city i took over previously, and it looks like they're going to get that one too. I eventually made peace with France, just so they'd get off my case, but it didn't do much. Meanwhile, i became Secretary General although i have the smallest population in the world. Haven't been prompted for Victory vote yet....awesome. India is quickly finish their rocketship. The downfall of the American Empire is upon us....

Awesome....

ARGHHHHHHHHH, it makes me pissed just thinking about it.............................. I suck at Civ games...

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