Thursday, July 13, 2006

Another "overheard" entry....

These come courtesy of Overheard at the Beach:

The Readers of Knocked-Up Snatch Say Otherwise

Beach-goer: Belly rings and stretch marks really don't go together.

--Redondo Beach, California

(My turn. EDIT: I didn't know Britney Spears lived in Rodondo.)

He Became a Dwarf Just So He Could Say That

Dwarf, to drunk chick at bar: So have you ever had a dwarf go up on you?

--Manistee, Michigan

(EDIT: This guy's got more game than Monopoly Junior.)

But the Hermaphrodites I'll Leave Alone

Girl, to younger boy: You're going to be a real lady killer when you're older.
Younger Boy: I'll kill men, too. I don't care.

--Ocean City, Maryland

(EDIT: Johnny never did pay attention to specifics.)

Ignorance Makes Me Harder Than Chinese Algebra

Freshman bikini girl #1: College classes are much more lame than I thought they would be.
Freshman bikini girl #2: Yeah, I mean who cares about, like, the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Freshman bikini girl #1: Yeah! Or algebra! Like anyone even cares!
Freshman bikini girl #2: Do you have more baby oil?

--Cocoa Beach, Florida

(EDIT: They all look alike anyways.)

It's a Special Frequency That Only Bitches Can Hear

Black thug: Look at the tits and ass on that one.
White girl, to friend: I think he thinks 'cause he's speaking gangsta I can't hear him.

--Hamilton Beach, Ontario, Canada

(EDIT: "Oh stewardess! I speak jive.")

And a bonus from OatOffice:

We Call Them 'Rotational Assignments' and You Would Get a Special Chair

Interviewer #1: You have had many jobs at that same company. Can you describe your work environment?
Forty-six-year-old proper woman: My company liked to move us around a lot so we got experience in different departments.
Interviewer #1: Was this a standard practice?
Woman: Oh, yes. They did that for everyone working at the restaurant's HQ. Every six months we would move from department to department. We liked to call it "tossing the salad."
Interviewer #1: Excuse me?
Interviewer #2: [Spits out his water.]
Interviewers #3,4, and 5: [Look away and laugh uncontrollably]
Woman: I got my salad tossed every six months, but in the past year moved it up to every three months. It's all part of the manager training program.
Interviewer #6: Did you like getting your salad tossed?
Woman: Yes, I did.
Interviewer #6: It must take some getting used to. We have never tossed salads here, but that is not to say we won't someday.
Woman: I would highly recommend it.

Church Street
Orlando, Florida
(EDIT: I think i know just the position for you....)

That website is fantastic. I was invited to an Overheard party at some bar in Manhattan tonight because i've been submitting headlines for their contests. Hopefully one day i'll hit the big time. When the school year starts up, i should do an Overheard at Yale to show just what goes on in this renowned institution of higher learning.

Other than that, nothing exciting going on. Starting to work on learning Russian again. Hopefully i'll get to take a class on it this coming school year in preparation for my (hopefully) December '07 graduation. Pretty much SSDD.



Post a Comment

<< Home