Thursday, May 20, 2010

Bored at work, you say?/Thank god for teh internetz/I can haz haikuz?

I was bored at work today and decided to write some haikus.

Like, I Majored in Haiku, That's How Good
i’m good at haikus
now what should I write about
hey! look what I did!


The Work Man’s Burden

it’s fucking hot out
falling asleep at my desk
fuck my life so hard

The Hot Topic Anthem
the world is so grey
raindrops like tears on pillows
brb must cut

Overrated
new york smells like pee
urban decay and hipsters
nothing but douchebags

I Need an Appointment Today!
can you fit me in?
that’s what she said, no really
she’s a wicked whore

I’ll Do Myself Later
procrastination
like masturbating
only fucking self

Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
recursive haiku
goes around in a circle
recursive haiku!

I’m Going to Hell
ass, cock, balls, douchebag
fuckity fucking fuck fuck
tourette’s for the win

Love and Loss
the blue sky today
reminds me of your bright eyes
lost and gone for good

An Ode to Adam Wheeler
of course you got caught
classical armenian?
are you shitting me?

A Haiku Made of Metal and Brawn
it stings the nostrils
right to the babymaker
milk was a bad choice

Which is Why I’m So Good at It
fantasy baseball
statistics and trash talking
nerd version of sports

BUT I CAN’T TURN AROUND!
GPS system
Should I turn yet? Maybe here?
STOP YELLING AT ME!

Oh, and the Therapy Bills
happy parents day!
thanks for the guilt and being
passive aggressive

Bourbon Street Theology
poverty and floods
hurricanes and oil spills
god hates new orleans

Boston, You’re My Home
Nice day at Fenway!
I love that dirty water
Go Red Sox, NOMAHHHHHH!

Where’s Its Leash?
30 and single
shut up about your kids
no, i bet they’re great

2 Comments:

Anonymous totally not DR said...

You should update your blog

4:17 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

update

12:41 AM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home