Monday, October 23, 2006

Vindication!

So my amazing sense of humor has finally been recognized by those who matter. On of my headlines got chosen as a runner-up in the semiweekly headline contest. Here is the link to mine. My 'handle' (10-4, little buddy) is 'Botticus'.

Not much going on here, shocker. Work still sucks as usual, but by definition, graduate school is soul-destroying. Russian class is still my daily savior. We've got a test today @ 1130A. This coming week we finish up the first semester of 1st year Russian.

Been listening to a lot of The Crane Wife...in fact constantly...as well as right now. They're not coming around the Have this tour, and if i buy tickets for Boston, they're wayyyyyyyyyy in the back of the theatre. Plus, i'm going to Boston this wknd for a couple of reasons--supper with Brian from TKT, couple of parties, getting out of the Have, etc.--and i'd not be all that psyched to drive up there again the wknd after to sit in crappy seats. Also, that's the wknd before Election Day and i may help out with the Lamont campaign to oust that power-hungry DINO Lieberman. (Actually, not even a DINO any more since he has his own party after losing the primary.) We'll see.....

Just found out that my buddy from Boys State is getting shipped out to The Sandbox during late December. Knowing how awesome the Pentagon is, they'll ship him out December 23rd or something. He lives down in NC right now, but there's talk of a couple of us driving down there during the 1st wknd of December to go visit. He and his wife just had their first child in July, so it'll be cool to see him too. Really sad that their first kid will be less than 6 mo's old when his dad gets shipped out to Iraq. Just another part of the war that DC doesn't want to talk about....

: It sucks, but we're kind of stuck there now. I'm of the mind: you break it, you buy it. We shouldn't have gone in there in the first place 3 years ago. Yeah, Saddam is bad. Yeah, it's better that he's gone. (The first 2 things Republicans ask when liberals complain about the war. The third is 'Why do you hate America?') There were no WMD's, thus dissolving the reason we gave (made up?) for invading. The country has degenerated into civil war. If we leave it'll just be 10x worse. We have an obligation to fix what we've broken. Although dictators are bad they are good at keeping order within their countries....that whole 'iron fist' business. ("Dictators are bad"...really sticking my neck out there. Kind of like Michael Steele in MD....) We've got to fade into the background before we can bring anyone home. If we become glorified rent-a-cops who act as the local security force, keeping order, etc. (not offensively fighting), then the Iraqis will become the main offensive force out of necessity. Essentially a policy of Iraqification. But we've got to make Iraq stable again before we can leave. There was also talk of splitting the country into 3 separate ones--Sunni, Shi'ite, and Kurd. Not a bad idea since the country was arbitrarily formed by the Imperialist Powers. But, no one will ever say that because it implies that we screwed up, and the last thing we could do is apologize or admit mistakes. GASP!

(Yes, that was an HTML reference.....god i'm a nerd)

Now for the news....

Something tells me this is focusing on the wrong problem, but he is from OK.

Finally, someone, is teaching, comma, usage.

Sloppy Seconds just got a little more dangerous. (Sub-headline: Leaves more than just a bad taste in your mouth....)

Any 20-something will tell you the cause; it's called 'beer'. OR Research sponsored by Bud Light.

They'll soon see the error of their ways. (Full disclosure: My mom moved to FL a little over a year ago....DOH!)

I'd like to solve: 'Fuck you'

Why Lieberman is winning in CT....

This is 1 block from my house...you can see it from my window. Awesome.

I'll leave you (DR) with these OINY's

At the Anarchist Physicist Convention

Hobo #1: It's the motherfucking Law of Thermodynamics.
Hobo #2: Fuck you.

--57th & Lex

Overheard by: Ray Kugler


Now I Have her Happy Ass to Hate

Loud lady #1: My daughter is so happy, I mean she is just so happy! I look at her and I think, 'Who is this happy person?'
Loud lady #2: That's because she knows she is loved...
Loud lady #3: When I was her age I was writing in my diary, 'I hate myself I wish I was dead.'

--53rd & Broadway

Overheard by: on my honeymoon

Those who Bootleg History Are Doomed to Profit From It

20-something Chinese guy: You know what? Chinese people discovered America.
20-something Black guy: Bullshit.
20-something Chinese guy: It's true! There's an article on CNN showing we discovered America, there are maps. Chinese were here first before everyone else. Chinese people did everything before everyone else. White people take credit for everything, but now it's coming out that Chinese made all of these discoveries first. Don't you see a pattern? We're the shit.
20-something Black guy: The only pattern I see is that you motherfuckers pirate and resell every DVD, and now you're trying to bootleg history.

--Chinatown

Overheard by: Ricky

White Folks Hire People to Kill Each Other

Thug #1: Yeah man, there's some fucked up shit going on.
Thug #2: Word son, niggas killin' niggas.
White guy across the car: It's a win-win situation.

--LIRR train to Penn Station from Jamaica

Harlot, 1995-2000: I Was a Team Player Skilled in Oral Communication with Customers

Acting student, performing a scene: You cheated on me! You harlot!
Acting professor: No, no! Now would you say 'harlot?' If someone called me a harlot I'd say 'Oh thank you so much!' You'd say you mother-fucking bitch, you whore, you slut! 'Harlot' sounds beautiful, I'd put it on my resume!

--Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: team jeffrey

And His Union Has Never Paralyzed the City

MTA conductor: Hey, get off the train or we're not moving. You can't play here.
Panhandler playing the violin: You're just jealous that I make more than you.

--R Train at 53rd St station

2 Comments:

Blogger Tim said...

It left out my HTML tags sandwiching the war rant paragraph. Here's what they were: "< war rant >" and "< / war rant >"

6:35 AM

 
Anonymous Drizzle said...

god bless nerd jokes.

but about splitting up iraq. that's not a real good idea either. Didn't work in Yugoslavia, Palestine, India, Germany, Russia... unfortunately we gotta pay for G dub's b-day present to papa. just my $0.02.

thanks for the shoutout...I'd like to speak for all readers that we appreciate it.

9:55 PM

 

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