Science LULZ!

One megaphone = 10^12 microphones.

Science in the 21st Century

Quote of the day:

Science is not meant to be done in 160 characters or less.

That is all.

It's not procrastination....

Today's words of wisdom: Every journey begins with thinking about taking the first step.

Possible Foray into Creative Writing?

On Tuesdays in the spr-umm-all (June 15-October 26) there is a farmer's market outside my building with delicious baked goods. I went to go get a chocolate chip cookie yesterday when it randomly decided to pour for 10 minutes. I aborted the mission and came back inside. Here's the google chat that ensued:

me: a torrential downpour just thwarted my cookie purchasing

1:10 PM Kally: that is an excellent sentence.

that's the beginning of a really funny story.

1:11 PM like. in a book.

i'm not demanding that you tell me a story.

1:12 PM me: It was a dark and stormy night.

A torrential downpour just thwarted my cookie purchasing.

1:13 PM Kally: yes. exactly.

that is comedy gold.

or. you know. it could be.

1:14 PM me: It was a dark and stormy night.
A torrential downpour just thwarted my cookie purchasing. Now Livinia will certainly divorce me.

1:15 PM Or worse, send me back out in a second attempt

Cookies and I have never gotten along.

Ever.

1:16 PM Ever since my first lunch in kindergarten, when Steven Billings took my perfectly packaged oreos out of my lunch for "bully tax".

Straight through today...per usual.

Physics is EVERYWHERE!

"we are watching man v. food, and the host is about to devour an enormous pancake. he said, “I’ve never had a pancake with it’s own gravitational pull!”
Tim, the Harvard physics professor, said, “that’s not true. everything has a gravitational pull.”
duh, competitive eating show host. duh."

Bored at work, you say?/Thank god for teh internetz/I can haz haikuz?

I was bored at work today and decided to write some haikus.

Like, I Majored in Haiku, That's How Good
i’m good at haikus
now what should I write about
hey! look what I did!

The Work Man’s Burden
it’s fucking hot out
falling asleep at my desk
fuck my life so hard

The Hot Topic Anthem
the world is so grey
raindrops like tears on pillows
brb must cut

Overrated
new york smells like pee
urban decay and hipsters
nothing but douchebags

I Need an Appointment Today!
can you fit me in?
that’s what she said, no really
she’s a wicked whore

I’ll Do Myself Later
procrastination
like masturbating
only fucking self

Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
recursive haiku
goes around in a circle
recursive haiku!

I’m Going to Hell
ass, cock, balls, douchebag
fuckity fucking fuck fuck
tourette’s for the win

Love and Loss
the blue sky today
reminds me of your bright eyes
lost and gone for good

An Ode to Adam Wheeler
of course you got caught
classical armenian?
are you shitting me?

A Haiku Made of Metal and Brawn
it stings the nostrils
right to the babymaker
milk was a bad choice

Which is Why I’m So Good at It
fantasy baseball
statistics and trash talking
nerd version of sports

BUT I CAN’T TURN AROUND!
GPS system
Should I turn yet? Maybe here?
STOP YELLING AT ME!

Oh, and the Therapy Bills
happy parents day!
thanks for the guilt and being
passive aggressive

Bourbon Street Theology
poverty and floods
hurricanes and oil spills
god hates new orleans

Boston, You’re My Home
Nice day at Fenway!
I love that dirty water
Go Red Sox, NOMAHHHHHH!

Where’s Its Leash?
30 and single
shut up about your kids
no, i bet they’re great

When furniture attacks....

Kally: ...oh god. to somewhere specific? is he going to couch surf?

me: couch surg

Kally: i only ask because my brother would definitely do that

me: -g

+f

OH MY GOD RUNNNNN!

Kally: is he going to surf on our couch?

me: THE COUCHES ARE SURGING!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Kally: IT'S A BLITZ!!!

(alolling.)

70 points, if you're wondering

I just bingoed in my Scrabble game.
The word, you ask?
...

A-B-O-R-T-I-O-N.

Apparently I'm playing soshulist trrrst Obamer scrabbbbbble.